Imagine it’s Saturday evening and you’re walking down the street and you came up near a park, the weather’s cool but not too much, the sun is setting down and it’s all warm colored sky because an hour before the black and grey clouds were pouring like they got hell of jealous from someone, autumn season is already there and the leaves flying by you had already turned dark yellowish and shining like the gold itself, you’re holding hands of your girl, smiling like crazy even when there is particular reason, even when all you can hear is noises around you but silence between both of yourselves. Imagine, it’s been a long day, you were working all day, your boss is all heartless and rude and always annoyed for no reason and today he put it all on you and now you’re tired and tensed and messed up, you finally reached you place after your exhausting day, you’re upset and you went into the kitchen to have some coffee and you found out coffee is already there and before you could turn and say something, your boy hugs you and then it’s just all blisses and butterflies. What do you call this feeling, or these blisses and butterflies around you? Romantic love. When did it all started? well go back to when you were strangers and you’re sitting somewhere maybe in a classroom, cafeteria, in office, at a diner or just by the street, at a bus stand or maybe even outside the washroom area. Well, I know that’s hilarious but isn’t it all about being attracted, some by just one look like Dante Alighieri fell for Beatrice and he called that “at first sight”, some by noticing those big smiles some people have and nobody actually knows what particularly attracts one because it can be any smallest detail our eyes would have caught. You feel like it all arose from heart, but did you ever thought it’s not about heart and it’s all in our mind and some specific hormones are just messing around in our brain and makes or whole body go haywire, did you ever ask yourself what does actually happens? From where and why all these feeling of bliss and butterflies around ourselves come? Well, the answer is all about this article is.
According to team led by Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers, romantic love can be broken into three pieces or you can call them categories too, they are:
LUST – Lust is driven by sexual gratification and the hypothalamus of the brain is one of the key players here as it stimulates the production of sex hormones testosterone and estrogen from the testes and ovaries. Meanwhile attraction seems to be distinct and the first stage but both lust and attraction are closely related phenomena as we can lust for someone we are attracted to or get attracted to someone we lust for, and vice versa one can happen without the other.
ATTRACTION – Attraction involves the brain pathway that controls the reward behavior, this where the dopamine and its brother norepinephrine come along as a team and are both released during attraction phase, making us giddy, euphoric, energetic, sometimes crazy and often leads to lost appetite and insomnia, ever noticed yourself after you fell in love and you just now can’t eat or even sleep. Don’t blame of your other half, it’s because of your whole brain. After this whole phase of chemical messing around there comes another player in the town, Serotonin but unless the pro-bros, dopamine and norepinephrine, the serotonin is reduced and becomes the reason of infatuation.
ATTACHMENT – Well, attachment involves all kind intimacies just as paternal love, love in friendships etc. as this also the predominant part of long-term relationships and commitment towards someone. This is where the players – Oxytocin and Vasopressin come along. Oxytocin is also sometimes referred to as “cuddle hormone” because it is the reason behind the events who are precursors to bonding.
BUT LOVE CAN HURT because it sometimes involves jealousy, infatuation, craziness and irrational behavior as well as dumb decisions and you can blame this on Dopamine and Oxytocin. Trust me these chemicals really do mess up in both positive and negative ways
Okay so you have read the science behind these feelings but what they actually are, is a topic I cannot even make you understand or agree on what is love even after writing a thesis about it because even though biologically it works the same for all of us but emotionally everyone has way too different perspectives regarding what love is for them and how it worked out or maybe didn’t work at all and like really I don’t even want to start any kind of conversation on what is love because you all are capable for defining it by yourselves anyways you can try my idea I told early in this article, if you want to feel blisses and butterflies, the idea of coffee…hugs….smiling like crazy.